As I prepare to co-facilitate the All Hearts on Deck sitting for advanced Trillium practitioners a final time, I'm thinking about self-care for the Awakened Activist.
It occurs to me that we may need to give ourselves permission to use particular strategies that might come under the heading of "special needs." In truth, all people have the same needs to varying degrees at different times. (Search “nonviolent communication” for excellent material on feelings and needs.) Our needs may not themselves be "special," but may need special attention and strategizing to be met.
Setting aside the stigma that may be associated with "special needs", let me define what I mean. What makes you an activist? What makes you extra sensitive to the needs of outlier groups, underrepresented segments of society, animals, Nature? Your sensitivity and desire to stick up for the underdog may be associated with physical and emotional sensitivity that requires special care.
While I don’t think being sensitive is a problem, and in fact it’s all to the good, we do want to make good use of the gift of sensitivity. A special focus on self-care is warranted.
By this time many of us have already done a lot of reading about self-care. We know that activists have a high rate of burnout, and we may have experienced it ourselves. Depending on our age, life experience and education we may feel we are experts on self-care.
At the same time, we may hold unconscious beliefs about being different — that is to say, "too needy," "not tough enough," or even "weird." The mutuality we find in Trillium has probably gone a long way to help us feel more OK in ourselves, and many of us, as Trillium teacher Rod Taylor describes, find the moment that we are able to say "it's OK to be me" and really mean it to be a turning point in our awakening journey.
As Margit Bantowsky has pointed out, the hypermasculine approach to activism is part of the hypermasculine approach to everything in our culture. It is the air we breathe and the sea in which we swim. So it is not surprising that, despite the Whole Being Realization process that continues to integrate in us, we may still have these unconscious and unexamined beliefs.
So I invite you to consider whether you may need to give yourself PERMISSION to have some "special needs" that require conscious strategies to be put in place. These may or may not apply to you. Take what you like and leave the rest. This list comes from my own process as an HSP (highly sensitive person.) Indeed, these strategies may be useful for anyone at various times.
- Reduced Sensory Input. Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk who founded the Engaged Buddhism movement and coined the word "interbeing," advises us to "guard our sense doors." This is a Buddhist practice meaning to be mindful of the stimulation that's coming in from all directions and to consciously avoid overstimulation. For example, we may be able to listen deeply to one person's story of trauma, but need to avoid listening to and watching the daily news of trauma on a large scale. We may also be sensitive to noise, conversations, bright lights and disorderly surroundings.
- Agreements with Colleagues and Family members. In mutuality we practice speaking up about things we feel vulnerable about. In Trillium there are agreements in place, such as treating such communication as sacred, keeping confidentiality and asking clarifying questions rather than straightening each other out. Colleagues and family members may not be familiar with these. Many of us find our "buffers" disappear as we progress in our process. This sometimes results in us blurting out things we ordinarily wouldn't, or conversely, having little-to-no defense against things other people say or do. This may last a short or long time. Daring to let others know about what is going on, while asking for care and consideration, may require great courage. Sometimes a limited request may be more appropriate, such as "I'm needing more alone time right now, would you be willing to postpone this conversation until ___?" On the other hand, dear ones who know we are sensitive may refrain from having important but painful conversations. In these cases they need to know we are willing to hear them regardless of intensity. If we do a good job of self-care, many of us are particularly good at "being-with" painful communication.
- Strategies for Acceptance/Self-Acceptance. Because our sensitivity may not be understood by ourselves or others, we may come under criticism, which we then internalize. Some of us may feel pressured to change or modify how we show up, and then feel distress about behaving inauthentically.
- Increased need for body-based therapies. Modalities such as massage, music, expressive dance, imagery work, brainspotting and emotional freedom technique (EFT) may get to the heart of our needs much better than talk therapy or intellectual understanding.
- Increased vulnerability to depression and anxiety. Because we are so conscious of suffering, it may weigh us down. We may feel intense pressure to do something about it, even if it is beyond our ability. If our need for acceptance is also not met, we may be at increased risk for depression and anxiety.
- Possibly increased vulnerability to physical illness, requiring special care to maintain health. Stress is well known to predispose people to illness, often by decreasing immunity. We may become stressed in situations where others with tougher skins do not. If we expect ourselves to be able to "take it" like others we know, without giving increased attention to health practices like adequate sleep, play, and relaxation, our health may suffer. In turn, sadly, some people who don't comprehend may judge or label us as hypochondriacs. If this happens we can turn for support to other HSPs who understand.
I hope you find some use here, and I'd love to read your comments! If you'd like to contact me directly, my email is Trustinbeing@gmail.com.
