Strategies for Avoiding Secondary Trauma
Secondary trauma occurs when someone else describes what they went through, and it feels like it happened to us. This is very normal and human and it doesn't mean we are doing anything wrong. We are all interconnected, and in some way it is true that it happened to us. Whether directly or vicariously experienced, we want to use the trauma to deepen us and make us wiser rather than to damage us. In the process some damage may unavoidably occur. There are ways to decrease the likelihood of damage and to mend.
- practice meditation – being "with the space" or "being the space" as Krishna Gauci (1) describes allows us to feel the bigness of how things really are. It is good to hold the painful thing gently while sitting with the expanse. I believe all kinds of meditation increase our ability to hold. What is the ability to hold? I mean the ability to sit with or be with intense feeling without having to do anything about it. Strangely, transformation and integration occurs when we can simply hold. Thich Nhat Hanh (2) (Thay) refers to this as holding the painful feeling like a crying baby, while neither repressing nor expressing. As he says, when a parent picks up a crying baby the baby usually begins to calm down before the parent has even done anything.
- tell someone – when we hold, we do not express. But there is also a place for expressing. We express in mutuality with others, and they hold us. We may or may not have to tell the most distressing bits. Tell how you are suffering and get empathy. Note: empathy is when someone else listens in a way that helps you feel connected to yourself. This is different from sympathy and commiseration.
- practice healing arts – for example Qi Gong meditation and Qi Gong movement (3). In Qi Gong meditation we visualize our energy body in ways that strengthen and protect us. Qi Gong movement practices also increase resilience and energy circulation, increasing our ability to hold energy, as above. We become more able to be at home in our own bodies during periods of intense emotion or stress. For example, you can rub and tap the area of your third eye called the Shen point. This strengthens confidence and self efficacy. Another practice is to stand confidently with feet hip-width apart, shoulders down, spine aligned. Visualize extending a "root" from your legs deeply into the ground. Breathe slowly and deeply with your tongue lightly pressing the roof of your mouth, extending the root further and further down with each exhale. You can also do this from a seated meditation position. Find others to practice with. Our energy in strengthened in community.
- practice guarding your sense doors– this is also from Thay. We can say that all of our information comes through the "doors" of our eyes, ears, nose, taste buds, and sensory nerves. When we allow our senses to be bombarded indiscriminately through television and other technology our equilibrium is disrupted. Be mindful of what you allow in. This is not avoidance, it is selective attention to the things you can have a positive effect on. This way you will have a stronger center from which to deal with real life.
When you protect, strengthen and restore yourself you have more resources to handle hard to hear experiences.
References
- http://www.krishnasatsang.com/telecourses.htm Krishna Gauci covers the resting-in-as-space meditation in "Living Your Divinity" soon to be released in recorded format. I highly recommend all his other work.
- Thich Nhat Hanh (all his books cover similar material in different ways, a highly effective technique that helps us learn and integrate)
- Information on Qi Gong is available from my own teacher Master Mikel Steenrod on his websitehttp://www.h2omt.com/flagstaff-qi-gong-health-healing-energy/ (do not be put off by the exuberant writing style! This man is a true master in our time)
